An Open Letter on Christmas

Now I have been criticized by a few people for celebrating Christmas (as a
secular holiday of gift-giving and time of good-nature), and so I thought it
appropriate to respond to these criticisms.

I hope you find it interesting reading!



Christmas is actually based on the Roman holiday "The Feast of Saturnalia". You
see, the Christians created "Christmas" at the Council of Nicea when the pope
decided that it would be good to capitalize on this popular day. You see, before
Christianity gave it any "religious 'significance' ", it was a happy holiday of
feasting and gift-giving.

So naturally, the pope decreed that it would become a "Christian Holiday".



So don't complain when non-Christians like me celebrate a secular holiday of
gift-giving and celebration.

You may think that I am hijacking your holiday, but it was really the Christians
who hijacked Christmas!



It's not even Jesus' birthday! You see, although no one knows for sure when
Jesus' birthday was, according the Wall Street Journal, it was likely in late
spring or early summer.

Now how the hell does the Wall Street Journal know? Well, you see, the only
reason the shepherds would be out tending to their flocks at night (as described
in the bible), would be because they were grazing them, which only took place in
the late spring and early summer.



Never the less, let us not forget that no matter what the origins of Christmas
are, its best attribute is that it’s a time when everyone tries to get along
with everyone else just a bit better, and we can all have a good time.

So in conclusion to this elocution which has gone from a semi-defensive
semi-rant to a soppy call for world peace and all that “stuff”, I just want to
wish everyone:

“Happy Holidays”.



-William

(I really don’t know why I bothered signing this because, seriously, who else do
you would bother to write anything like this?)